By Chido Chirumuta
If anyone asks me one more time, I might just explode or say something rude. People just need to mind their own business!
My mama raised me right, so I am sitting here trying to find a polite way to tell people to mind their business. A week after I got married, people started asking me when I would be having children. Random people. People who have no business knowing what I plan to do with my uterus. It is never the people that I am actually close to who hound me, so maybe that explains it. I do not understand why it is acceptable to ask someone such a personal question. I do not understand why people feel entitled to know such information.
At present I cannot afford to feel ill or to gain a few kilograms, or else I risk being accused of being pregnant. People raise their eyebrows when I decide not to have a drink on a night out. It is tough being a newlywed I tell you. My husband and I have our own timelines, which we do not feel the need to explain to people. Do these people plan on throwing me an elaborate and lavish baby shower or do they intend on paying my hospital bills? This could explain why they require nine months notice. A pregnancy really is not something one can hide, so people must just sit tight and be patient.
My issue with this question is that, unfortunately, many couples face challenges when it comes to falling pregnant. It is such a sensitive and personal journey for every couple and interrogating a couple concerning their plans can be very intrusive. You just don’t know what a couple is going though and you are not entitled to know another couple’s plans.
After painfully watching a friend of mine privately go through several miscarriages, then being made to endure incessant questioning about her pregnancy status, I now realise how devastating such questions can be. My friend was unwilling to share her struggles with every Tom, Dick and Harry, so she was forced to hold back the tears and find ways to shrug off the questions. Many seemed oblivious of the possibility that maybe all was not well. Many failed to see the pain in her eyes, because they were more interested in giving their opinion on what she should be doing with her life.
I know that most people mean well, but the next time you meet a recently married couple, maybe focus on asking about the wedding or the weather or any other non-invasive question. Because you never know the struggles that people are going through behind closed doors. So tread with caution and just mind your own business.