Losing someone is one of the biggest tragedies to ever happens to mankind. Like a thief, so does loss occur. It’s unexpected, and usually never do we think that at a certain time, it will have to happen to us. Our hearts are usually broken beyond repair and like most of us, we take off some time to mourn those who’ve departed. We think of the best ways to go through this, and not on a single day do we ever believe we’ll go through it, because definitely it’s a rough time. This is a time most of us deem we need personal space. We’re not even wrong to say this because no one can understand the amount of pain we’re going through at such a time. Not even our closest friends can share our pain during these hard times.
To go through the stages of grief and loss and to come out the same is uncommon because of the so many things that happen during that time. There’s no formula in expressing grief, but that doesn’t mean people aren’t going through it. The past couple of months have been a disaster. It’s a time that got most of us scared and too anxious to think we’d survive because everyday we woke up, we woke up to devastating news of the passing of a person we either knew or of a friend’s relative. It’s a time that we got convinced that if we stepped out of our houses, we’d die. A time we needed the tiniest hope to keep us moving. Most of us have had to delete contacts of the people who mattered to us the most because they’re no more.
We’ve had to wake up to ambulance sirens, every morning or at least a wail from the neighborhood. We’re more scared than we have been before, and we’re not even sure how we’re surviving. To say that life has been tough is an understatement. Sometimes we’re even wondering why everything just had to happen now. Just when we thought we needed the people we consider close to us, most places were locked down, and others, restrictions on movements happened.
In such times, convincing us that this is for the better is like piercing us with a sharp arrow in our chest. There’s nothing harder than having to send off your loved ones just alone, with no one to cry to or to share the pain with.
Life has not been the best for us but the Almighty hasn’t left us alone.In these times, I hope we remember a few of the following.
1. I hope we remember that all this will come to an end. It might take a while, a while we’re not sure we can estimate, but definitely will come to an end.
2. I hope we understand that each one of us is going through a certain difficult phase. We may not wail out loud or even lock ourselves in the room, but we have growing pains inside of us. I hope we understand that the least we can do for humanity is to have compassion, and a little kindness to everyone around us. We don’t need to first know what they’re going through.
3. I hope we lend a hand where we can. Loss and grief is a time where you can’t find the right words to console a person going through it. It’s a time where you should never assume you know what the grieving party is going through, it’s a time we just have to sit with them,and just listen to them or hug them or just be there, without saying a word or a thing but having them to trust we’re not going to leave them.
4. I hope we learn that grief takes time. Healing is not even a word we need to associate with during grief because you can never heal from losing a loved one. You can never forget how much they meant to you, or the joys and butterflies they brought to your heart. The times they congragulated you can never fade away and neither can the times you cried together disappear. During such times, I hope we understand that it is okay to feel all the emotions, but never to forget about ourselves too.
While grieving for our lost ones, it’s important to take care of our bodies, our mind. Could be talking to a friend, or a family member and expressing how you feel, it could be talking to your religious leader. Do not leave in denial, understand that this is a difficult time that you’ll go through. Most importantly, always know they’re people who’ve dealt with the same and have come out stronger.
In the last month, a friend of mine lost a parent and on that same day, was able to check on me, without saying a word about it… maybe if we didn’t stay in the same neighbourhood, I’d never know . What I’m trying to say is that there’s so much going on with people and we cannnot be sure we know it all. This is a reminder that we should be kind to people because we don’t really know what they’re going through. And even if we think we know, there’s nothing greater than being compassionate, loving, and kind to people, whether strangers, or people we know!!