Gender Myths

Before I proceed, let me clearly state that this is purely my opinion; something I totally believe in after proper observation and I think you should too, but I have no intention of shoving my opinion down your throat. So, in the long run, you decide whether you agree with me or not.

I know some people are probably wondering why I had to start with that … Well, you’d have to know people. Some people just naturally see other people’s opinion as an opportunity to combat. Having said that, I think I can proceed.

I am still very young and many will agree, with limited experience in the world, but I have been in the world long enough – I, at least think so – and interacted with enough people to say that majority of the differences that society has cooked up around gender are simply myths.

Oh … Society is clever. It succeeded in telling us these differences are natural, we were all simply created that way. I personally give society kudos for being smart enough to feed us these fables for years. But in my opinion, it is time to get rid of them because they are doing more harm than good.

One very popular myth is how women are emotional and men are logical. I know many of us subscribe to this and we use it to explain away different situations between men and women.

Well, I am sorry to burst your bubble … It is a myth. We have logical women, for example yours truly, and we have emotional men.

Society has put so much pressure on our men that many of them have lost touch with their emotions. They are told – right from childhood – not to cry, not to whine and not to complain, that is a woman’s department. And women have been allowed to let it all out.

Here, in my opinion, lays the simple explanation for why it seems like men are more logical. They were simply taught to be.  Some of them are naturally emotional and some have such a big dose of it that society was not able to take it all away.

I have quite a number of male friends and acquaintances and I have seen some of them act very emotionally on a consistent basis. It used to baffle me why some of them “acted like women.” I used to be irritated, in fact.

And in my interactions with them, I have found that some had absolutely no clue what to do with me because I “acted like a guy.”

Well, I recently had an epiphany. I do not act like a guy and my friends do not act like women. We were simply being ourselves and having issues with it because society told us to. If we all understand that people are different based on personality and not gender, we will be able to relate with others better.

If we stopped expecting men to have no moment of weakness and vulnerability, we would be delivering them from so much pressure “to act like a man.” Many of them are hurt but cannot speak out because “men should not cry”.

And when a woman like me acts emotionally strong, we should stop looking at them like they are from another planet, that is just who they are.

Another myth is how women have the natural ability to multitask and be more ‘domestic’.

No, women had to learn to multitask in order to accomplish the many demands of everyday home life.  If you are expected to cook, clean, wash, tidy the house, watch the children while finding time for your own thing, you had better learn to multitask or you will breakdown.

Multitasking is not a natural skill women possess, it is a survival skill learnt over time to adapt to societal expectations.

Regarding being more ‘domestic’, let’s teach sons to do more house chores and we will see that they too have the ability to be more ‘domestic’.  It is all learned behavior and has nothing to do with gender. Women have always been expected to take care of the home, so they do it, in a way that appears ‘natural’.

If you ask me, the only difference between us is physical. Every other thing is simply based on individual personalities and differences.


Ayandola Ayanleke
Naide Obiang / 4 May 2018

This issue of gender disparity is a constant challenge in the social spectrum. I do see some agreeable points, I think the physical difference is the root of the gender narrative. I do agree that I use those gender differences to my advantages more often now than before. For example, I do not get emotional, at least not in front of people. So people assume I am tough like a man, well if it was advance my career, be it. We just have to speak the language of the system for our profits. Once we have command, then we can change the narrative.

Ayandola Ayanleke / 6 November 2020

True that; we need to own the narrative.

Samson / 8 August 2020

Who makes society rules? Are we not all members of society? What gives one gender right make decisions on behalf of the other? If you listen to society (whatever you think of society), you give up your right to be unique individual, which is what we all are, women, men, and children.

Ayandola Ayanleke / 6 November 2020

We are all members of society and we have the responsibility to change the narrative; one person at a time.

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