Social media has brought about many concepts and popularised many words. In recent times, one of those words or term, in this case because it is two words is, slay queen.

At first, for me, I assumed the term was for a lady that dresses well, takes time to care about how she looks and looks good. But I was quickly disillusioned because I discovered it wasn’t a term that was used as a compliment, it is a term that was used mostly derogatorily, at least around my clime. I don’t know how it is done outside of the continent, so I will only speak for what I do know of. Most times, a woman that is called slay queen is one that is considered to either sleep around with men for money or just generally, doesn’t have much going on for herself except her looks.

And I will be the first to admit I went with the flow. If I know you are like that or at least, suspect, I called you a slay queen. But something did not sit right with me when I discovered it was also a way to shut women up or simply insult you if you actually had the audacity to look good. I cannot mention the number of social media threads I have followed, where women are discussing something that affects women or an issue that even has nothing to do with women comes up, you find some men going to her profile, see a fine looking woman whose eyebrows and makeup are on fleek and then go, “no wonder, you are just a slay queen”.

Basically, for them, that explains why you have a different opinion from them, or why you want to talk about women issues. You are a slay queen! I am a moralist apart from my faith, so of course, I am unapologetically against promiscuity from both genders. However, it will seem that the definition of slay queen has been blurred somewhere and it is now ambiguous. Does it mean a promiscuous lady or a lady who looks good? If it is the former, all well and good. But if it is the latter, all would have been good as well if it was not used as an insult.

Are we saying it is no longer okay for a lady to decide to take extra care about how she looks? Since when is it bad to be a little more concerned with how my make up looks? I don’t get it. I mean, of course, there are cases of over-doing things but this is not one of them, this is a case of just caring. We all have some form of vanity or the other – some more than others surely and some, more obvious than others – but we all have a thing or two that brings out our vain side.

I have never been a woman who wore makeup, despite having two older sisters who wanted to help in that situation. It is just the way I am, I have come to accept. But that doesn’t mean the woman beside me who likes it should be condemned from it. Since when is make up a determining factor of whether a lady is smart or not? Some of these women are masters in their craft, hard working, dedicated and successful but no, it is not enough.

Once you are seen looking good in your pictures, somebody thinks it upon himself to deride you and make you feel brainless. There are women who are as natural as the day they were born, who have nasty attitude and are lazing around, depending on others to take care of them, and there are some of them who are indeed a delight to be around and hardworking.

What am I saying? How you choose to dress or look is not a determinant of what you have inside of you. Enough with the derogation!