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In recent times, women have found the term “beauty and brains” derogatory, and you find many men frustrated when they meet a woman who doesn’t see it complimentary because, as far as they are concerned, it is supposed to be a compliment. 

“Attractive women with brains are so rare, so you should be thankful you are one of the few creatures who can have both combinations.”

That’s practically what you mean when you say this.

So, is this a compliment? Are beautiful women who are intelligent that rare?

It reminds me of a guy who used to come to a dry-cleaning company where I worked after Secondary School. He found out about my tribe from my colleagues, and he sounded so surprised I was from there.

According to him, people from my tribe are not that “fine.”

I don’t even know if that is a backhanded compliment or an insult to all my people.

He probably felt I should feel happy to be “the chosen one,” but I felt insulted for my people and didn’t consider his supposed compliment one.

This is the same reaction some women have when they are told they have beauty and brains. Do you mean that women who have both are rare or that intelligent women are rare?

I think both instances are false, and that is why some of us are not smiling when you say that.

Like most things feministic, many men start acting confused and say the usual, “feminists are toxic,” “women don’t know what they want,” and all other variables they come up with.

This is why I usually direct most of my dissatisfaction related to women’s issues to society because I believe men are also victims of brainwashing.

They are just giving back what they have been fed for years.

It is not entirely their fault. What becomes an issue for me is when they refuse to unlearn and choose to fight every attempt by women to change the status quo because, left to them, we complain too much.

In this case, men need to understand that unconsciously, and in many circumstances, consciously, the world has expected women to have beauty and not exert their brains much or not have much of it because apparently, only men can think.

That is why many people find it hard to believe a pretty woman – or any woman, for that matter – reached the top by working hard for it; it has to be because she rolled in the hay with a man at the top.

For many years and even in this modern world where we expect people to be more rational, we find people questioning a woman’s success.

If you take the time to think about it, maybe you will understand why some women do not find it flattering when you tell them they are “beauty and brain.”

It is almost like you are surprised she can have both or has brains in the first place because while beautiful women are not rare, intelligent women are.

I won’t even go into the number of great women that the world has produced or many unknown great women that the world has repressed because that will be like I’m trying too hard to prove women have brains when it is just a fact.

So next time you want to compliment a woman, how about staying away from that phrase or, at the very least, stop sounding so surprised she doesn’t consider it a compliment?