By Eunice Tossy

I was at church one time, when a guy said, “you will find some women over confident which affects their lives negatively, women SHOULD be shy, and less confident, Women that go to the US or far in life do that”.

Now I don’t want to talk about women in the US, I want to talk about the specifics that I don’t fit in…. Shy and less confident.

You know how we buy girls dolls, and dress them in pink? Well, we teach them to be only one kind of a woman. The kind that is shy, laughs with her hands on her mouth, laughs silently, mostly maternal, looks down all the time, under confident, dresses a certain type of way, knows how to cook, greets and the kind that doesn’t take time to know herself, the kind that just follows the rule and what society wants her to become and be.

I think women all over the African continent are forced to live in a bubble. You are either a tom boy or a ‘woman’, there is no other way to be. While men are individual, and different… Women are mostly the same… Except slay queens who have created another way to be as a woman in Africa. You should not be thought of as less than a woman because of what you do or who you are, your gender has already identified you as one.

Women are individuals, we should discover who we are and what colour we like. Not just be expected to like pink. I love purple by the way, and teal. All I am saying is women should know that there is not one way to be a woman… Or a mother.

My niece is now acting like a mother to her spider man doll, and when she is playing she pretends to cook, not that there is anything wrong with this, or buying kids dolls and things that are pink, but why not give them more choices and let them decide for themselves? Why not train them to climb walls and other stuff, other than buying them cooking toys?

It is okay if you don’t fit the box, there shouldn’t be any, anyway.

Be human, be an individual, be unique, be special, be you.