By Mahbuba Matovu

If you don’t already know, you have to read my content with an open mind and an elevated sense of humor; otherwise, you might write my poor mother a letter questioning how she raised me. The woman did a fine job, blame the internet and DSTV.

Okay, so, I want to start an initiative. No, this is not your average “Let girls learn”, ‘Food for the girls’, ‘Raising the African Woman’, type of cause. Don’t get me wrong, I respect every initiative to help women; however, in all the years I’ve been an African (which is all of them), I’ve come to learn that our problem is not uninspired women. Our problem is closed-minded African men.

So before we proceed, take a minute and call your Husband/Bae/Sugardaddy/Sponsor/Blesser, (whatever you call him). Tell him to come read this. It’s for him. Go on…I’ll wait.

Has he come? Okay. Where was I – African men are the reason African women “winning” is a suppressed movement. We have never refused to go to school, we have never refused equal pay, WE HAVE NEVER REFUSED A MAN’S OFFER TO COOK SUPPER – and yet here we are, initiative after initiative, hosting problem-solving conferences without inviting the main problem.

This is why I have decided to start an initiative for men. I’m not even going to overthink the name – I’m calling it, “Let Men Learn” (LML).

LML is going to be an initiative that will equip African men with skills to become better, emotionally in touch, auto-updating, more useful versions of themselves.

Here is a list of a few of the skills that they would develop from the program.

African Woman Appreciation classes. The goal is to get our very “self-centered” African men to appreciate our burden and learn to chip in more often. They would learn to support initiatives for women, fighting career stereotypes and even speaking against violence towards wives.

Have y’all seen that viral video where men test a machine which gives them the sensations of a woman in labor? I’m going to buy that machine.

Maybe if our dear men feel the wrath of labor pains, and then hear the baby crying while you slave away in the kitchen, they won’t shout, “Take the baby outside, I’m watching football.” They’re going to go grab the baby, change the diaper and take that damn crying baby outside so you can cook in peace.

As a matter of fact, the topic of child caring is unheard of to African men. I would have a special child caring class to perfect skills like bathing children, diaper changes, feeding them, and helping with homework.

Social speaking skills. Phrases like, “What are you eating, you’ve become fat,” or “You’re a woman, you know nothing,” or “A woman’s office is in the kitchen,”(that last one being an actual statement made by not just an African man, but an African president), will be a thing of the past.

Simple cooking skills. Do you know an African man who arrogantly asks, “What did you cook,” sign him up! He’ll come back saying things like, “Hey, you need help with dinner,” and maybe if he wants to be the high achiever of the class, he’ll say things like, “Don’t worry about it, I’ll do the dishes,” (I know, I’m pushing it right?…a girl can dream).

Common courtesy. Opening doors for women, waiting on women to go first in the buffet line and even offering to hold the heavy stuff when coming out of the grocery store.

Handyman training. Ladies, check your phone. If you have plumber, painter, tire-fixer as numbers saved in your phone, sign your loser “significant other” up. He should be the one with these numbers or better, be able to fix this stuff.

Romance sessions.

Some of these men be walking around with the newest smart phones that have the highest calendar technology, but can’t think to set birthday reminders and “my cat has been dead for three years now” anniversary reminders. How lame!

…some of these men be expecting you to cook for them 365 days a year – as though they found you in the kitchen. Fam, I’m going to start a subscription letter to recommend romantic date ideas other than his mother’s house.

My fellow women, I urge you to support this upcoming initiative. Together, we are going to teach these boys how to be men.

As always, your blogger bestie, Buba.