A conversation I had with a friend of mine yesterday affirmed what I already knew. Some men will just never get it right when it comes to how to treat their wives, partners or girlfriends.

One thing we know for sure is that when a man wants you, he will move mountains.  The next thing you know you are head over heels in love with them. How romantic and loving they are in the first couple of months, years of your relationship.  We fall for it and rightly so because we all have needs, and because its beautiful and because we are human. We fall in love till it hurts and bleeds.

In my friend Jackie’s case (not her real name) which is similar to a lot more around the world she went on to have his children. This is where things started to change. Gone was the woman who took care of her looks, dressed very well and was always on the social scene. In came the very tired looking woman, who cleans, cooks and takes care of him and their children.  In other words, in came the woman who sacrificed her needs for those of her children but her partner never saw it like that.

Only the lucky few get to see the loser of a man that he truly is when all these changes start to play.

I am talking about the same man who moved mountains so he could have you. This very same man says,  “You are still beautiful, but you should have a boob job if you really want our relationship to continue” .

Did I mention that this very same man was hardly their after Jackie had her children. “She had become fat”  His words not mine.

So, my friend should put her life in danger to undergo a major operation just so she can please Mr high and mighty.

The S.O.B has some nerve!

Ladies, do you know that you are nobody’s property? Yes, You Are Nobody’s property. Your man might have paid dowry for you but remember you are no sheep, goat, cow or chicken (They are at times treated a lot better than you)

Wake up!

I have not so long ago learnt that to love myself more brings much more happiness. I urge you to do the same. Love but love yourselves more.  It is not okay for your needs not to be considered too. A man who asks you to change your body for him does not love you. If he did, your looks would not be an issue. You deserve better.

The outside will always look perfectly fine but not on the inside. I know it is not easy to end a relationship even when we know it is bad for us but please don’t stay in a no-good for you relationship just so you can please your family and friends. At the end of the day, you are the one who ends up hurt the most. Also remember that one bad relationship is not the end of the world.

To the men who are doing it right, thank you and stay blessed.