“No”: Denial, Or Invitation?
By Josephine Amoako
There has been a lot of talk recently about decoding the message intended when a girl says ‘no’ to a guy’s advances, be it sexual or romantic. Ideally, no means exactly what it means: no. But as complicated as girls can be sometimes, their ‘no’ may not sound as potent as it should be.
Interesting points of view from our male counterparts suggest that a lady’s ‘no’ doesn’t always mean no. Most of the time, it means try a little harder (because you may never know!). At other times, it means I’m considering it (but don’t get your hopes up!). Others, too, think it is just a mere response they give while they think of what they really want.
It is amazing that when the tables are turned, a guy’s ‘no’, more often than not, seems to hold. When a guy is found caught between the exit door and the seductive charm of a voluptuous woman, his ‘no’ is taken seriously. But they love to assume that a woman’s ‘no’ isn’t really a no.
It is true that some women enjoy the chase just as much as men do, they do their best to keep the game going. So some men have been successful at decoding the real message behind the ‘no’ that ladies give. Some would say it all boils down to the tone, gesture and body language that accompanies the word no. But some take it seriously when the no is said confidently, without a twitch or blink.
Some ladies get annoyed, and even hurt, when a guy walks away from the chase, simply because they said ‘no’. They expect the guys to know they really didn’t mean it; they were only throwing the word around for the fun of it. And the very same women feel violated when their word is not taken seriously and they are pushed too far. So which is which?
For the guys, it will take serious discernment to find out what category a lady’s ‘no’ falls into. You should know who you’re dealing with; whether she’s an into-the-chase type of women or the stands-by-her-word type. Good luck deciphering that.
And for the ladies, it is better and safer for your ‘no’ to mean exactly that. Giving mixed signals confuses the guys and can put you in jeopardy. And worst still, you might end up losing it all. Giving in to what you want doesn’t make you cheap; it makes you serious. So when you say ‘no’, be sure that’s what you really want to say and stick to it.