Dear Abuser

By Eunice Tossy

Dear Abuser, I don’t want what you did to me to happen to your daughter . I don’t want your daughter to be abused. I have always wondered what life would be like if I got my justice. If I reported the abuse to the authorities and they took it seriously, that we go to court and you are found guilty and I dance inside and then cry the tears of victory. 

I cry at the thought that I have gotten justice, that I have seen the end to this. That finally you got what you deserve, in a sense that the saying goes – you reap what you sow. That maybe you could reap jail time. Which you didn’t have. Because you were a relative, still are. And it gets complicated when it is family. But most of the time it is family. And no justice in turn. Which complicates healing, at least on my part.

Dear abuser, I eard that you have a daughter now. That you have moved on, almost have separated yourself from what you did to me. You are perfect. A family man. No one thinks you are evil. Except for me who will never forget what you did to me. Sometimes I feel sorry for your daughter, for having a father like you, maybe she is unsafe like I was in your hands. Maybe I don’t know, maybe she might face what I faced. All I am hoping for her, is that what happened to me won’t happen to her. You know why?

Because it broke me, opened me to pain and hurt when I was a teenager. Because I have had to live with this as my life story. Some nights, I’m consumed by this, I weep and weep, and get angry and sleep, and have nightmares and feelings of revenge. Because what I have lived with and had to go through no one else should. No one else should. Even if its your daughter. She didn’t choose to be your daughter. It was your sins not hers.

Dear abuser, I hope your daughter doesn’t go through the same pain J did, I hope she doesn’t get abused. I hate you, not her.


Madeline Wilson-Ojo / 6 February 2020

This was heart wrenching to read. I’m sorry you endured this at the hands of a relative. May you heal and heal well.


Eunice Tossy / 6 February 2020

Thank you Madeline.. I am working on healing.. thank you so much

Esther / 6 February 2020

Nice work…

Eunice Tossy / 8 February 2020

Thank you so much Esther. Thank you for reading dear

Salha / 8 February 2020

You are brave, you are courageous and you are a warrior… Healing takes time but you will get through this Eunice. Thank you for sharing!

Eunice Tossy / 8 February 2020

Yesssssss I am brave, i am courageous and i am a warrior!

I believe so too Salha.

Thank you for reading and for this platform

Ayandola Ayanleke / 8 February 2020

I love this.

Eunice Tossy / 8 February 2020

Thank you so much dear. Thank you for reading as well

Christelle Kamanan / 18 February 2020

It is a very powerful piece. Thank you for speaking up in the name of all of the people who still don’t find the space, the strength and/or the opportunity to do so. Love and Power sister!

Eunice Tossy / 19 March 2020

Thank you so much Christelle. Healing, light and love to all us.


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