By Esther Chawai

The moment you begin asking yourself this question as a lady, it means that there’s a lot that is lacking in that relationship. Often times, that question is triggered by the obvious fact that there’s some behavioral change or dissatisfaction in some way that is now making you ask yourself questions. You start thinking deep and even making excuses for him in order to make yourself feel better. Some ladies get affected so much that they become a shadow of themselves; slowly they begin to lose the glow and confidence that they’re known for.

It’s okay to love someone in all sincerity, and even imagine having a long term relationship with them, but what happens when they start to drift away and you know that you haven’t done anything wrong? At times like this, a lot of thoughts creep in “not again! I’m getting older”, “I cannot start learning about another person once more”, “and how about I hold on, I’m sure he will change ”or“ maybe he’s just a little busy but he’ll come around”… we begin to give excuses to ourselves for the man, for not acting accordingly. It’s really sad, and some ladies will go on trying to put in extra work, for the fear of losing him. Wait a minute, think about yourself. Why should you be the one trying a bit harder? Isn’t a relationship supposed to feel like a partnership? If he’s too busy, well get busy too! Channel your energy into something more productive and love yourself, appreciate the person that you are.

Life isn’t that difficult. A man who wants to be with you wouldn’t give you a reason to doubt his feelings or intentions. The aura of love cannot be hidden, if he loves you, you’ll feel every bit of it and have some level of confidence too. As a lady, it is important to be emotionally intelligent. Yes, society may have set some standards for you, like on the age to get married and have kids, but love happens to people in different timings. Should you then compromise because you want to meet up with their timing? Or wait for it to be worth it?
Have those uncomfortable discussions with your supposed man, you never know what you may just find out, they often times think you should sense it when things are different with them, knowing that saying it to you would hurt. Some resort to putting up funny displays so that the lady gets tired trying to bridge the gap and eventually gives up on her own accord to avoid the feeling of guilt on their own part. It hurts more knowing the truth was hidden instead of being spilt for clarity, it’s a disrespect to ones feelings, a relationship that has no head way should end and leave room to a fresh start that hopefully might become worth the while.