Over the years, there has been an increase in the number of African women who are struggling with their self esteem. They are also struggling with acceptance, hence the constant need for approval from everyone.
That could perhaps explain why many are opting to comfortably dwell under someone’s shadow, they opine it feels safer there, than their own reality. African women’s desire to imitate those they see in magazines and television shows has been growing extensively. They are constantly thinking; “oh, if only I could look like Rihanna or if my body could be like that of Nicki Minaj, then the society will see me as beautiful and sexy”. But what about our own African identity? What’s wrong with being ourselves, are we perhaps scared of how we look? There is some really shocking revelations of how much black women are spending on cosmetics and skin lightening products. The misconception that black is not attractive is slowly robbing several African women of their beautiful skin and identity. That could also be a confirmation to the late philosopher Frantz Fanon’s sentiments in his book, Black Skin, White Mask – where he extensively articulated that black people are constantly yearning to be white, and in between those lines they end up losing themselves.
African woman, who taught you to hate yourself? Who taught you to think black is inferior? Malcolm X also once said that, “you can’t hate your origin and not end up hating yourself, you can’t hate Africa and not hate yourself”. It is this self hate that needs to be exorcised in order to rescue African women’s pride from drowning. Nobody should build this wall of definitions, of what beauty looks like. That would really be the 21st century scam. As for myself, I’m not trying to be somebody else. I am of course struggling to write my own story and defining my own beauty. The story has many rewrites, failures, pain and of course victories, here and here. But that’s alright, it is what actually defines me as an individual. I anticipate that as an aftermath, I will be able to stand tall and be a proud owner of my story, without being implicated as an imitation of someone. I love Africa and I love myself.
What every African woman needs to understand is that there is nothing wrong with our afro-African hair, our skin and the shape of our bodies. In fact, if a black woman goes to apply for a job and she doesn’t get the job because her hair, one need to take a step forward and say something!