By Tara Kadenyi
I would be lying if I said I haven’t tried to write since my last post. I have, and failed miserably. Writer’s block really is a thing. Have you ever doubted that you could do something that you previously did so effortlessly? Went back to your work to confirm if that was really you? It’s a dark and lonely hole and the more you keep digging the deeper you sink. Truth be told, I had lost my mojo and it took an escape to my hypothetical cabin in the woods to run away from this unsolicited hiatus. Goodbye Felicia!
That aside, I am here to celebrate all my girls. I must admit, finding your footing as a girl in her twenties in the 21st Century is not exactly a walk in the park. Here’s one for the ladies.
Queendom is a painting by Whitney Austin which was uploaded on March 27th, 2016.
Some girls like to tie their hair up in a messy bun, some go for the braided look. Some hold their hair back in a ponytail. Others prefer weaves and wigs. Others prefer to rock their wild fros like the natural African Queens that they are. Others choose to defy all odds, brave the cultural stereotypes storms and go on the loc journey. The wild way of the wax 😊. Others like having almost no hair at all. Some girls gel their curls, lay their edges and tie up their puffs. Some prefer their hair dyed. Some don’t.
”Most girls are smart and strong and beautiful. Most girls work hard, go far we are unstoppable, our fight to make it everyday no two are the same”
Remember that one time you irked her when you mistyped you’re for your? Yet all you wanted to do was express how gorgeous you thought her nails looked. Remember how her replies got inconsistent and slow? Yet you explained to her that it was just a typo. I mean you know the difference between gray and grey and you can spell Einrichtungsgegenstände without flinching. Better still, you can tell a real natural eyebrow from a drawn one, why would a small insignificant typo mess up the image of yourself that you had carefully cultivated. Remember when she took just about three days to respond to your “You up?” then she said she is a bad texter, well maybe she is, genuinely; but how come she wasn’t in the beginning? The very exciting all-too-rosy-sweet-nothings, “no you hang up”-butterflies phase. See, some girls are like that, that’s just how they are.
Source: Pinterest
“On some days you feel so good in your own skin, but its okay if you want to change the body that you came in. You look greatest when you feel like a damn Queen”
Some girls hit the gym, they watch their diet, do their squats tone their quads. They don’t rest till they achieve their ultimate flat tummy no tummy look. They are all about that summer body. Some girls flaunt their arm and tummy rolls. Others hide their stretch marks because of how you cringed when you saw her in a bikini. Some girls feel best in sundresses, some prefer the comfort of baggy tees and sweats. Some have no problem with showing some skin and maybe a little more, others prefer to be all covered up.
”…Some girls like to keep their physique real private, some girls wear their jeans so tight because it feels so right..”
Some girls embrace their melanin. They take a selfie every time the sun is out. Some girls prefer a full makeup look. They take hours to prepare, draw their brows, tone their skin, paint their nails, exfoliate. Some cannot stand the sight of makeup. Some just don’t lie anywhere in the ‘light skin vs melanin’ debate and that’s perfectly fine.
Some girls stay up late binge-watching shows, some stay up late double tapping on the gram, swiping on Tinder, staring at their selfies until they turn ugly. C’mon megapixels, she just wants to be aesthetic, can’t a girl dream? Others stay up late composing song lyrics, writing poems, drawing sketches, creating, editing and perfecting their art. Adding and ticking off entries on her bucket lists and vision board. Sharpening their craft. Some cry themselves to sleep because they think they are not good enough, thinking about how they can’t compare to Jane Doe and how they will never match up to her prowess.
Some stay up late to draw their dreams and write down their visions. Some girls stay up late stargazing and marveling at the moon shapes and auroras because they set her soul on fire.
Others stay up late mustering the strength to stay in toxic relationships, to keep unfaithful significant others because of all the time and emotional energy they have invested in them.Thinking it’s brave, smh. Some stay up late beating work deadlines. Some stay up building castles in the air envisioning their Vogue dreams. Making up conversations in their heads. While some, some just don’t stay up late at all.
Source: Pinterest
“Some girls feel best in their tiny dresses, some girls, nothing but sweatpants, looking like a princess. Some girls kiss new lips every single night. They stay out late because they are just celebrating life”
Some girls prefer nights in, alone or with her girls, catching up on what’s new in each other’s lives. Some prefer Netflix and coffee. Others prefer to go out and drown in their youth. Some tell their secrets to their best friends, some to paper, some a blade, some a pet, some a bottle, some a herb. To each their own.
She is ultimately beautiful on the inside but cannot let people share in this beauty because it is too scary to let people in. The fear of vulnerability, people seeing her ’naked’, is literally crippling. Her resting bitch face is mistaken for the mean girl.
She seeks validation from the people around her, desperate to gain their approval because she has been told so many times that she is not good enough, not worthy enough.
Despite her often being self-conscious and filled with self-doubt, she cannot be put down. She is relentless.
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She is all-round beautiful. She knows her worth, the world has taught her how to beautifully and unapologetically bring out her flaws. There are many like her. They are phoenixes, these girls. They have been misunderstood, unseen, and rejected and yet they rise. From the ashes, from the darkness. They emerge from the raging flames that set them on fire and secure their tiaras firmly on their heads. She eats, drinks, breathes and sweats self-esteem.
These are the girls we all want to be but the beauty in that is that we are all these girls, just on different levels.
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She is awkward, most times. She calculates her steps as she walks, her eyes are dodgy and her responses trite. She has a resting bitch face that conveniently masks her easygoing laid back vibe that she only dishes out to the few who dare to see beneath her beautiful. She has a twisted sense of humor. She has a dark aura and an even darker past. The scars on her wrists and her right thigh bear memories, she didn’t get them when she was learning how to ride a bike, that’s just what she told you. How could you buy that? One minute she is muffling sniffs as she watches Shonda Rhimes kill off character after character in Grey’s Anatomy, next thing you know a notification pops up on her screen and radiates a glow. Her intuition is unmatched. It’s magic. Golden.
Source: Pinterest
So don’t put her in a box, she can be any kind of tornado she wants to be. Let her do her. You will be surprised at how good she is at doing her once you liberate her from the shackles of overburdening gender expectations that you have tied her up in. She already has her fair share of burdens in this patriarchal society. Besides, she doesn’t want to be like ‘MOST GIRLS’, that’s her superpower. Maybe she is Beyonce, maybe she is Lara Jean. Maybe she is Serena Williams or Yara Shahidi or Viola Davis or maybe she is just Becky or Juliet or Virginia or Ashley.
This would be a good time to mention that I am in full support of feminism! Cheers to the female future.(Open to reader’s interpretation😉 )
Inspired by ‘Most Girls’,Hailee Steinfeld