Every girl has that dream when they are kids, to find that Mr. Right. The prince charming and star out of the crowd to make her happy, sweep her off her feet with hopes of forever and ever.

I for one didn’t think about marriage when I was growing up. All I thought of and wanted was to travel the world, see things and write about things. Every time I climbed the tallest tree in my grandpa’s yard in Mbale, I looked across at Wanale, one of the peaks of Mountain Elgon in Uganda and thought that beyond that, that’s where I would go to find my dreams. When I was in Kampala, where the sun set from, was the end of the world. That is where I wanted to go. To see the end of the world for myself.

Back to the main issue, the thing is, as we grow older, puberty hits in, curves emerge, breasts become perky, the voice becomes so sensual and we learn the art of being a “woman.” As you go on dating each guy you meet, you hope he is the one for you, the future. You scribble his name in your notebook (I am very guilty of this) add his name to yours (y’all did this, so don’t go pretending you didn’t).You get the picture? That “puppy love” stage. Then as you mature, after a couple of heartbreaks, crushes, random one night stands (yes you!), failed relationships, you look around and see people breaking up, marriages becoming something of a myth. I have seen women do anything to get married and I mean everything; (including that stuff we see in Nigerian movies).

As her biological clock starts ticking, she loses hope and grabs at any last string  she finds hoping to get hitched. The search for Mr Right becomes so intense that it reaches clubs (popular place to find “mates” these days.) Some ladies go as far as pretending to be “Saved” (Born Again Christians) to find a church going guy. Once they find the next available man to marry them, they then go ahead and spend millions on their wedding day. Not long after that, the marriage breaks down and divorce is then next step. This can only mean one thing; It seems that during the rush to find the right person to spend forever with, we ignore the important qualities in a man and end up picking the wrong ones because we are too blind sided by our fear of ending up lonely.

A certain old timer once told me that these days, we don’t really care much about the qualities that a person comes with, we care more about their appearances and what they bring in your life. How deep their pockets are. I don’t really know much about love but I know that if I am to spend forever with a man, same bed, same space… we would have to be friends first, get to know each other, tolerate the other’s short comings and enjoy the strong points. Sometimes we get lazy in relationships, just because you have him doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to make the spark burn brighter than the day you met. Waiting for Mr. Right doesn’t mean you should not kiss some frogs, unless you look like Mrs. Carter(Beyonce) then please go ahead and sit their looking pretty, he will find you. Or not!

Looks are not everything either. Your personality, how you carry yourself, treat others has a lot to play too.  Anyway, I believe we all have someone out their that is meant for us, someone tailor made just for each person. It just takes some pain, tears and sometimes giving up and concentrating on finding yourself but in the end, if someone’s meant for you, you will find them…unless of course you are a nun, then it is a different story.