I Surrender

I surrender.

It is always tough to say these two words out loud, because it seems as if I failed, as if I have given up.

I surrender.

In the face of adversity, anxiety, pain and fear.

I surrender.

No more looking for answers, forcing my way through problems, head spinning, heart pumping, never catching my breath, to think and sit in silence.

I surrender.

What the point? Why am I holding on so tight?  What am I trying to prove? And To whom?

I surrender.

No more asking myself what I should have done? Could have done? Did I do enough? No more questioning myself, sending myself on a self-inflicted heart ache.

I surrender.

It seems as if the more I hold on, the more it escapes me and the more chaos I create.

I surrender.

Look at nature.  Do the trees ever worry or do they trust that all is made perfectly in this world?

I surrender.

To this moment, to where I am in life right now, to the past and to the future.  I trust that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, learning every day lessons and growing.  I am not giving up, I have not failed.

I surrender.

I leave worry to find my own strength, build my courage, increase my resilience and trust that the Universe knows more than my own little brain could ever comprehend.

I am not giving up, I am allowing myself to be!

I surrender.

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