There was this gentleman that once shared the stories of 25 cheating wives on his Facebook page. This thread suddenly went viral as though women do not cheat; the practice is more associated with men and nagging with women. I believe it went viral because of the shocking lengths at which most of the women went (go to, as they are practically still in it) to sustain their affairs.
The interesting observation from all the stories were, these women were not sleeping ‘around’. They have had the extramarital affair with their ‘side dudes’ for years…some as nearly long as their marriages. I guess, even in infidelity, women still can’t help but be faithful to their cheating partners. That’s why I call them ‘faithful cheaters.’
The reasons for these and any other women choosing this path vary: from emotional neglect, physical unavailability, financial security, revenge for being cheated on, childhood experience from observing their parents’ marriage, to disrespect and others. These reasons may be valid to an extent but not justifiable at all because two wrongs definitely do not make a right. It is also a choice one decides to make because they choose to put in enough effort to ensure their affairs remain secret and sustainable instead of translating that energy into making their marriages work.
Reading these stories saddened my heart because it opened my eyes about how unhappy several women truly are in their marriages though the family portraits shown on their social media tell a totally different story. They post sweet messages to their spouses on their statuses on anniversaries, birthdays and Valentine’s day but hardly have a conversation at home. How long can one keep the charade going?
Another observation I made from the stories was that some of the women were comfortable playing the role of ‘faithful cheaters’ with no apparent intention to divorce their legal husbands anytime soon; because they still loved their husbands and things were going on well at home. Some had even secured an apartment/house with their cheating partners (who are also married) and have decided to be ‘exclusive’; so they have had “the talk” to be cheating exclusively with each other. How intriguing are humans of this era!
It’s also sad to note that some of the cheating partners are actually close to the unknowing husbands: their best friends, bosses or some other connection. It seems trust is not seen as valuable these days so people boldly betray the trust of those close to them.
In the light of this, I wonder, why the rush to get married in the first place? Is it worth it to have the most glamorous wedding with trending photos only to be frustrated to join the cheating game to keep your sanity? Why not take time to be friends with spouses-to-be so that when things begin to go awry in the marriage, they have a firm foundation to sort it out?
I hope married men would take a cue and step up their game and work equally hard as their wives to make sure their marriages thrive. This phenomenon tells us that, cheating is no longer a monopoly sport for men; women are equal players and probably are better at playing it than the men.
Marriage is sacred and should be revered as such.
© Josephine Amoako 2018