What Is Your Number?
By Florentina Twongyere
Months ago while my girlfriend Joan and I were having one of our weekly breakfasts at my place she regaled me with a narrative of her love life (she’s single and mingling at the moment). Over coffee and hot cross buns I probed about how dating was going, to which she snorted and laughed. “What, did I say something funny?” I asked puzzled. Still laughing she replied, “No love it’s not you. I was on a dinner date with Moses last week and he asked me how many boyfriends there were before him; and you know me, I told him the truth. Well…let’s just say the daily love quotes & smoothies are now non-existent. He said we were better as friends”. I hooted, finally realizing what she was saying… the “evil past” strikes again. It was like going down memory lane.
Current politesse dictates that a woman says she has dated at maximum only 3 guys by the time she is at least 23 years old, anything more would amount to scandal. Unfortunately, this equation doesn’t factor in the craziness of being in college, the boredom of young adults and the unforeseen douchebagness of a beau. Between me and my friends the list of ex-boyfriends is… hmm let’s just say its better no one knows (probably enough to fill a stadium, there I said it).
Albert Einstein describes insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Sometimes love feels like that, insanity with copy and paste actions in-between. When you first meet a guy there’s that initial twinkling, you think you have struck gold and he is the one. Before you know it you are holding hands, having date nights, posting couple-in-bed selfies on Facebook and Instagram and totally grossing people out with your delirious happiness. Exit the honeymoon phase and enter reality: you realise you are not as compatible as you formerly assumed, are girlfriend no. 5 in a string of dalliances, PS4 Fifa tournaments are more important than spending time with you, et cetera (you get the picture). Thus ends your love story and subsequently you meet another guy then the rotation begins again.
Falling in love is hard business, besieged with unrequited affection, broken hearts and regrets. It is only human nature to search for love and discern whether its existence is corporeal or a mirage. Some are afraid while others plummet so easily into love. For the easy lovers of love, there comes a time when you realise you have amassed more than your share of old flames in the quest for “the one”. So what then? Dare you lie through clenched teeth and crossed fingers to that guy you have the hots for, hoping he never finds out? Or, with your head held high, do you admit to those 25+ exes that own a chapter in your autobiography? Remember, they say a man’s ego is fragile and a confession could go either way. Will it cost you love for the rest of your life? Therein lies the dilemma.
So what is your number and would you dare tell the truth?