I came across this quote recently and it couldn’t be timely.
“Think about where you were last year. Think about the things that used to worry you so much that no longer consume your mind and time: the relationship that wasn’t healthy, the stress of what this year would be like, the things you never thought you would accomplish, but you did…all of those things taught you something, and are grace-filled reminders that after everything that happened, there is room for you to learn, to grow and to be okay.”Morgan Harper Nicholas
It’s timely because, on July 18th, I will be two years away from turning thirty. I know for sure that age is just a number and has got nothing to do with how young a person is at heart. However, It’s the thought of turning towards the later twenties, of almost completing three decades that gives me the goosebumps. It’s also the thought that when you are older, you are expected to be wiser, and make fewer mistakes /excuses perhaps. I had envisioned that at twenty-eight, I would have all my ducks in a row. And while I don’t have it all together, I feel like a completely different person. To the core. Where (and who) I am today is completely different than where I started my twenties. The entire journey has been an amazing ride with a lot of twists and turns and I have evolved a lot. I am grateful for the experiences that continue to shape me as a person. I am grateful for the mentors and my core group of friends who are still present and in my life. And I am so grateful to be blessed with amazing people around me.
The pressure that comes with being a year older.
If you are in your late twenties, then you probably understand the pressure that comes along with being another year older. Some will say that you are still young and that you have so much time on, while others will say that you are old enough and should settle down and start a family. When will you get married? When will you have babies? When will you buy your first house? When will you get that big promotion? The questions are endless.
I am also guilty of being the cause of the pressure that I constantly feel. See, I have found myself being surrounded by people who are better than me, these people happen to also be younger than I am. Everyone around me seems to be doing boss moves, especially with their careers and investments. The fact they are younger than me means double the pressure! I know it’s often said that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to other people but knowing that someone is better than me keeps me grounded. So, over the years, I have fallen into the comparison trap and I always find myself thinking subconsciously about where I stand relative to my friends. As a result, I can’t help but wonder. What would the girl that I was at eight years, three years or a year ago think of me now? Would she be proud of the woman that I’m becoming? Is there something that I should be doing right now that I’m not doing? Am I making the right decisions? It’s unhealthy, you might say, but that’s the most natural way of keeping myself grounded. So I will continue comparing myself with people as I learn how to be kind to myself.
And so putting societal pressure aside, being 28 to me means no excuses. It means less talk and more action. It means breaking boundaries. It means more self-care and self-love. And so here is to growth, to change, to self-discovery, to love and all the forms it takes, to pain, to challenges and to pressures. Here is to 28!